I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
