We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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