Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize