And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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