I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
