theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Never joke about your clitoris.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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