I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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