remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
