how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
