So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
no, he came in my armpit
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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