Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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