my sisters under your porch take her home
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
