if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Randomize
