I'm pants shitting drunk right now
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
