I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
