I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
