Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
