Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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