You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
