Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize