I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize