When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
