Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
