FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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