there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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