So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
