just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
