yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Panties = found
Randomize
