Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
