Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize