that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
