There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
