worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Someone signed my nipple.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize