I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
