Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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