I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
