I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
bring money and cleavage
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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