I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
