I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize