Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
