there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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