Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
