He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
