***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
