Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
