found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
