If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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