There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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