the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
