he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
