I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
