she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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