I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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