she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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