i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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