I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
