Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
