i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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