just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
