belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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